When I completed treatment in early August I assumed I was through with this neglected blog for a loooong time. While my wonderful oncologist made clear to me that the 5-year numbers weren't good, he was also effusive in his praise of my wonderful attitude and emphasized how important it is to keep a positive attitude.
Hey, Positive Attitude: I am thee and thee are me. Just as soon as the cancer researchers isolate the Marcee Factor, they'll be compounding it and making big pharma bucks out of it. In the meantime I'm here to testify that all the good thoughts in the universe can't necessarily control the frenzied multiplication of cancer cells.
I'm writing today to tell you that a positive attitude does not necessarily result in a positive outcome. I'm here to tell all of you who have been told that your cancer has returned haven't, by definition, failed.
Yes, my cancer has returned. When I tell people they often ask, "In the same place?" Well, no. The lobe of my lung that had cancer was removed, so, there's no longer that lobe in which the cancer can return. There are, however, 4 lobes left, and one of them showed up in the CT scan as having another tumor.
Here's where we are right now: In advance of my first official follow-up visit with Dr K, I had a CT scan. When I had my appointment with him on Nov 25 I fully expected that the information imparted would be about what the long-term follow-up would be. Six months? Four months? Annually? I was totally NOT expecting that the information would be that the CT scan showed a tiny tumor in the upper right lobe.
At this moment I'm in yet another Waiting Mode. Dr. K wanted to wait a few weeks before more tests. Honestly, I was so shocked at the test results I didn't ask any questions. As with the initial diagnosis in January, I just blinked and said, "Okay."
I'm scheduled for a PET scan and blood work on Dec 30, and an appointment to review the results with Dr. K on Jan 6.
It takes neither a cancer specialist nor a rocket scientist to know that this isn't good news. I've poked around on the internet and have found a dearth of information in response to the search term, "rapid recurrence of cancer after treatment" or any of its variations.
But wait, there's more
On the same day as my appointment with Dr. K, I returned home to a voicemail from my sister Joyce. She'd been experiencing weight loss and increased fatigue and I'd been among several people who'd been urging her to get in her doctor's face and demand answers. The sound of her voice on the VM told me it wasn't good news.You can't make this s**t up. Yes, her doctor had ordered tests, including a chest X-ray. On the very same day I learned that my lung cancer had returned, she learned that she had lung cancer. The news since then has been downhill. The PET scan showed "activity" in her lung, a lymph node in her esophagus, a lymph near her collarbone, in the peural cavity, and in her stomach.
Smart lady and smart husband, they departed today for a 3-week cruise into warm climates. When they return in January she'll have whatever tests are deemed necessary to determine the extent of the cancer and shape the treatment. I remind myself, and my sister, that I had a PET scan early on that also showed hot spots that turned out not to be cancerous; I can only hope she's as fortunate.
